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# Bill Simmons' Best Columns

By [tobias (@tobias1)](https://listium.com/@tobias1)

6980 views · 0 likes  
Published 25 July 2019 · Updated 13 August 2019

Category: sports / basketball

My opinion on what his best articles/columns/pieces are.

## Items

### 1. [The nation’s destination: destiny](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/0/the-nations-destination-destiny)

Item ID: `0`

- Date: 2004
- Notes: A humorous, affecting play-by-play of a lifelong Boston Red Sox fan watching his team win the World Series:
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/041028](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/041028)
- Read: false

### 2. [Kobe scores 81 points](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/4/kobe-scores-81-points)

Item ID: `4`

- Date: 2006
- Notes: Written when the novelty of Kobe’s point total was still strong, Simmons contextualizes it as an impressive and slightly empty achievement, secured during a meaningless season on a mediocre team against a crummy opponent. He’s able to appreciate the moment without being overwhelmed by it
- Link: [http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060124](http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060124)
- Read: false

### 3. [First-annual Atrocious GM Summit](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/13/first-annual-atrocious-gm-summit)

Item ID: `13`

- Date: 2006
- Notes: A column about horrible general managers.
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060224](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060224)
- Read: false

### 4. [Welcome to the No Balls Association](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/15/welcome-to-the-no-balls-association)

Item ID: `15`

- Date: 2007
- Notes: A rage filled article about the NBA.
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070223](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070223)
- Read: false

### 5. [The re-evaluation of Elgin Baylor](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/2/the-re-evaluation-of-elgin-baylor)

Item ID: `2`

- Date: 2008
- Notes: Whatever sarcasm found in Simmons’ writing is built on a foundation of deep love for his subject material, and in analyzing and re-evaluating the career of Elgin Baylor — who in the late aughts was known more for his disastrous run as Los Angeles Clippers general manager than for his innovations as a basketball player — Simmons provided an empathetic, nuanced understanding of one of the underappreciated legends of NBA history.
- Link: [http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/081008%20](http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/081008%20)
- Read: false

### 6. [Save the Sonics Mailbag](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/5/save-the-sonics-mailbag)

Item ID: `5`

- Date: 2008
- Notes: The longest piece Simmons ever filed, it contains the emails of dozens of Seattle Supersonics fans aggrieved that their team was about to be stolen away by Oklahoma City. It was the perfect convergence of the stand-in fan’s voice allowing the fans to have an outlet when it seemed like only mass incredulity might stop the inevitable:
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080228](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080228)
- Read: false

### 7. [Ewing Theory 101](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/1/ewing-theory-101)

Item ID: `1`

- Date: 2009
- Notes: “The Ewing Theory,” a dictum born from watching the Knicks band together after star Patrick Ewing was put out of commission by foul trouble or injury:
- Link: [http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?id=1193711](http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?id=1193711)
- Read: false

### 8. [How to Annoy a Fan Base in 60 Easy Steps](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/14/how-to-annoy-a-fan-base-in-60-easy-steps)

Item ID: `14`

- Date: 2012
- Notes: Once upon a time, the Warriors ruled the NBA; now they're being booed in their own building
- Link: [http://grantland.com/features/how-annoy-fan-base-60-easy-steps/](http://grantland.com/features/how-annoy-fan-base-60-easy-steps/)
- Read: false

### 9. [The Legacy of Game 6](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/23/the-legacy-of-game-6)

Item ID: `23`

- Date: 2014
- Notes: About the Game 6 finals game between Spurs/Heat.
- Link: [http://grantland.com/features/nba-finals-game-6-heat-spurs/](http://grantland.com/features/nba-finals-game-6-heat-spurs/)
- Read: false

### 10. [2015 NBA Trade Value, Part 2: The Temple of Doom](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/24/2015-nba-trade-value-part-2-the-temple-of-doom)

Item ID: `24`

- Date: 2015
- Notes: Blast from the past.
- Link: [http://grantland.com/features/2015-nba-trade-value-part-2-the-temple-of-doom/](http://grantland.com/features/2015-nba-trade-value-part-2-the-temple-of-doom/)
- Read: false

### 11. [Leaving Las Vegas](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/19/leaving-las-vegas)

Item ID: `19`

- Date: 2001
- Notes: An article about his time in Las Vegas.
- Link: [http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?id=1282013](http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?id=1282013)
- Read: false

### 12. [Death of his dog](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/8/death-of-his-dog)

Item ID: `8`

- Date: 2009
- Notes: When Simmons wrote openly and sentimentally about the death of his dog, Daisy, he received loads of mail from fans who could deeply relate. Even his critics couldn’t deny the potency of the subject:
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090122](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090122)
- Read: false

### 13. [Welcome to Grantland](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/3/welcome-to-grantland)

Item ID: `3`

- Date: 2011
- Notes: On the way to announcing the launch of his new site, Simmons takes a detour through his own memory, regaling readers with a lengthy digression about his time working for Jimmy Kimmel Live. He compares the onset of creative terror prompted by starting Grantland to the anxiety of launching a late night talk show. Every journalist can relate to the fear and anxiety that accompanies bringing something new into the world, no matter how small.
- Link: [http://grantland.com/features/welcome-grantland/](http://grantland.com/features/welcome-grantland/)
- Read: false

### 14. [The 13 levels of losing](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/7/the-13-levels-of-losing)

Item ID: `7`

- Date: 2002
- Notes: An amusing look at the many horrible ways there are to lose, written when Simmons — as a Boston fan — had experienced enough of it to remain credible on the subject. He would revisit the concept a few years later, but the original remains the best:
- Link: [http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020528](http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020528)
- Read: false

### 15. [Welcome to the Vengeance Scale](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/22/welcome-to-the-vengeance-scale)

Item ID: `22`

- Date: 2004
- Notes: How angry can you be?
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/040720&num=0](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/040720&num=0)
- Read: false

### 16. [Playing in Tiger's shadow](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/20/playing-in-tigers-shadow)

Item ID: `20`

- Date: 2006
- Notes: Playing XBOX with Tiger.
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061012](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061012)
- Read: false

### 17. [Tiger’s great…what can you say?](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/11/tigers-greatwhat-can-you-say)

Item ID: `11`

- Date: 2007
- Notes: This column is remarkable because Simmons ekes out a 4,000-word column after beginning from the premise that its subject, Tiger Woods, is simply too good to write about.
- Link: [http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020618](http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020618)
- Read: false

### 18. [A hall of justice](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/17/a-hall-of-justice)

Item ID: `17`

- Date: 2007
- Notes: "If that’s the case — and I say it is — then how can we leave out Pete Rose, the all-time hits leader and most memorable competitor of his era? And how can we even consider leaving out McGwire, Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa, the three most memorable hitters of the 1990s? We’re supposed to stick our heads in the historical sand and pretend these people were never born? Imagine if the rest of the world worked like this. Word is, JFK cheated on his wife. Should we change the name of the airport and remove all his memorabilia from the Smithsonian?"
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070103](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070103)
- Read: false

### 19. [The Consequences of Caring](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/12/the-consequences-of-caring)

Item ID: `12`

- Date: 2012
- Notes: From his daughter's passion for the Cup-less Kings to his own for the aged Celtics, Bill Simmons gets a refresher course in disappointment
- Link: [https://grantland.com/features/the-consequences-caring/](https://grantland.com/features/the-consequences-caring/)
- Read: false

### 20. [Daring to ask the PED question](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/9/daring-to-ask-the-ped-question)

Item ID: `9`

- Date: 2013
- Notes: In this column, Simmons addresses another form of writerly anxiety that journalists wrestle with: Are we doing our best to present the best obtainable version of the truth? For Simmons, the question boils down to a conflict between his raw sensibilities as a sports fan and his reputation as a fixture in the sports journalism community. That tension grows more acute as he considers whether to write about performance enhancing drugs, which he finally does.
- Link: [http://grantland.com/features/daring-ask-ped-question/](http://grantland.com/features/daring-ask-ped-question/)
- Read: false

### 21. [Dazed & Confused by the NFL](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/21/dazed--confused-by-the-nfl)

Item ID: `21`

- Date: 2001
- Notes: Dazed & Confused relating to the NFL
- Link: [http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020103](http://proxy.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020103)
- Read: false

### 22. [Air quality never worse in NFL](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/16/air-quality-never-worse-in-nfl)

Item ID: `16`

- Date: 2006
- Notes: "I don’t know anyone who’s happy with the current state of NFL announcing. You can’t say things deteriorated this season because this has been an ongoing problem for more than 20 years, ever since the Cosell-Meredith-Gifford team peaked and John Madden exploded onto the scene, followed by the networks’ collectively deciding, “instead of accepting that these were two once-in-a-lifetime situations that cannot be recreated, we’re going to kill ourselves trying to recreate them.” "
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061201](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061201)
- Read: false

### 23. [New rules help define '09 playoffs](https://listium.com/@tobias1/44020/bill-simmons-best-columns/18/new-rules-help-define-09-playoffs)

Item ID: `18`

- Date: 2010
- Notes:
  > "Revelation No. 3: The most potent force in January and February is the “Nobody Believes In Us” theory.
  > 
  > Again and again and again and again. Although we’ve never really figured out why. Every football team should be motivated in the playoffs, right?"
- Link: [http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100108](http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100108)
- Read: false