You don’t have a heart of steel. It’s okay to cry your heart out. It’s okay to feel the pain. Expressing your emotions is healthy. Denying yourself the opportunity to mourn your broken relationship will only prevent you from facing the facts and moving on.

Accountability is good. As the adage says, “it takes two to tango”. You may have made your share of mistakes during the marriage, but while it’s important to realize them to avoid repeating them, you shouldn’t blame yourself for why the relationship fell out. Marriage is a two-way street. The responsibility to keep it together doesn’t rest on your shoulders alone. That said, you shouldn’t blame your ex either. In some cases, relationships just fall apart, no matter how hard both parties have tried.

When going through a divorce, it’s easy to get sucked into a negative spiral. Hard as it may seem, don’t focus on the bad stuff, but rather, be grateful for the good things too. Perhaps you share a kid with your ex. Maybe you have traveled the world together. Try to find meaning in those experiences, consider them as gifts, and appreciate the learning.

One of the positives of divorce is that you can focus on yourself more. Lots of married people lose themselves in a relationship. Most people would consult their partners before making major life decisions. Some of them could no longer do the things they enjoyed. If this is you, now is the chance to finally do the things you weren’t able to do when you were married.

Divorce is a highly emotional time, and going through the legal aspects on your own might be tough. It’s not something you’d want to DIY. If you’re thinking about getting a divorce, make sure to hire a competent divorce lawyer such as https://napadivorce.com to help you sort out issues like asset division, child custody, and spousal support.